so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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