I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
