is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I party with great urgency now.
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