Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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