She bit a glass in half.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
