he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
