Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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