Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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