my phone needs a breathalizer
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
