Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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