You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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