the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
my sisters under your porch take her home
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
