So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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