a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
