Swine flu. Run for my life!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
