Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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