I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's blow job season.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
