In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
