from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
