The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
