New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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