he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
