from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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