On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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