She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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