I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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