We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
