Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
