just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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