Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
