You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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