im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
