My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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