There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
