Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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