if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
