it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
