i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
