I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she smelled like a LAN party
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
