come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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