I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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