We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
