Kiss
Puke
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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