I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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