you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
