I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Still dying that you shit outside
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
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