Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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