Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
