I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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