conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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