This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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